35 and counting!!!

Yes sometime in September, turned 35! Don't feel, behave or act like 35-year old. Can hardly believe I have perhaps only about another 30 odd years to live. So much to do, so little time. This was probably the first birthday which was celebrated with the absence of a token celebration. Not even a cake. I attended my French class very seriously, just as if it was any other day! I thought I was too grown up to give a damn about such stuff, but I do....., tch,tch!

Lots of little updates! Sometimes my life seems as if a rebellious car stuck in a traffic jam, no space to inch forwards. When I look up and take stock calmly, I see that it crossed that lampost I thought I'd never reach or even turned a corner without me realizing. Speaks a lot re the need to build more intuitive awareness in daily life and the need to reflect instead of living like scurrying ant carrying more than my fair share of load.

We went for a lovely holiday to Germany - Blackforest and Bavaria. It was lovely to get away after the chickenpox episode and losing my wallet on a rare shopping spree! All those cliches about travel expanding your horizons and doing things for your soul are so true! Its a pity that the photographs I have in no way do justice to the lovely memories and vistas that remain with me. Calls for a skills upgrade!! I even had a brief German hangover where I considered learning German. But better sense prevailed and opted for continuing to learn French instead. This year we actually speak French in class, no English allowed and its really good. My tongue's loosened up a bit. Immersion is best for learning a language - a fact!!

September started and our life is more structured, at least during the week. Mornings with big G to school, back home with little G who has learned counting upto 20 and speaks a lot more nursery rhymes in a cute, garbled way. She speaks sentences and has progressed from asking "Mama, doing?" to "Mama, what-ta-ta doing?" She has even begun potty training herself and so we are using a lot of toilet paper these days :)

Big G and me are both learning swimming. Kelly is a cool instructor. I did not know I have a fear of water, and the only time I will feel confident is when i swim alone, on my own. Maybe a couple of more classes to go for that.

Lil G goes to a creche now for 2 days and I am supposed to have some time to myself. The first week I spent time doing long postponed tasks like organizing my cupboard, cleaning etc, but thinking I ought to do something more constructive - maybe a gym. Would have liked to join an intensive course for Dutch but the ones closeby are all booked and I don't want to commute far.

In the month of July, also got a job and did not take it up for various reasons. Went over a range of emotions and reasoning - good, terrible, regretful, practical, thankful, sorry. After that, no luck and now I consciously need to stop stressing myself over it. I have to think of what I want to do really and what is possible. Retraining, makeover etc are some issues which I will need to consider. Biggest confusion is what to do with my life.

And what holds my interest for long? Not one thing, I have a passing interest in a lot of things, certainly can't live life that way. For now, at least my goals are to be a good mother, more involved, and stop being anxious. So, off I go to smoothen my brow and arrange my face into a smile! See u next time, and soon!!