Jan 2016...
Hi, everyone, wishing you all a Very Happy and Content New Year 2016! Have not been here in almost 2 months and when I do I don't have much to say or rather so much has transpired that well, I just don't know what to write about particularly.
I had mentioned that November was hectic, December was the superlative of that. Mid Dec was the time when the husband was down for his holidays, the schools had a Monthly review for which the kids were busy preparing, dance and music classes in session, my work from home, and then a trip to Rajasthan planned for the last week of December, so overall pretty much occupied with something or the other.
The trip was a change in location, and a getaway from Bangalore. The end of December is not the best time to visit Rajasthan IMO, it is overflowing with tourists and is super crowded. The city trips therefore were okayish with jostling crowds in all the touristic points. The most fun and memorable part of our trip was Ranthambore. Staying in a tent, spotting a tiger and being blessed by a langur (that's for my younger one) - highlights of the trip. Of course, the bunch of crow pheasants we had spotted earlier in the day made it lucky for us, if you believe in such stuff. I do ;) Having said that, I need a vacation again, away from my family.
Increasingly I feel the need to be away, away from home, away from responsibility of caring, of doing, of organizing, of being attentive, of listening, of nodding my head, yes, even for a short while...a few hours, and I am well aware that this is a sort of lazy, wishful thinking. With Big G's sudden stomach ache bouts and lil g's motion sickness, any sort of vacation involves me carrying a mobile pharmacy in my handbag, and the accompanying anxiety which I hope to do without. And corroborated by my single parenting experience over the last 2 years - no weekends. If I don't get up early on weekends I feel the lack of space for me and at the cost of sounding selfish I could do with some time off.
Even my wish to volunteer a few hours over the weekend becomes tough to achieve as logistical dilemmas on where to leave the kids appear. In other news, both the girls have discontinued with dance lessons. I personally am taking it as a loss. More than the dance, there were so many other aspects to it - skill, practice, discipline, getting over stage fear, cultural awareness,.. I should be happy as weekends are free now onwards, but I am disappointed. But decided not to force them.
We were to take a decision on our status quo in December - with regards to the family being together again, and while it is increasingly clear that the only way this can happen is with us going back again, there seems to be imminent a sea of change and adjustment all over again. I just hope we can go through it with good grace and courage or face any other changes with equanimity. Leaving parents and going away will kill me, especially with my mom's condition. I am in any case of no help to them living in a different city. I have so got used to talking to Mom twice a day. And I am steeling myself to the reality slowly.
Err, reality is so much like that spinach-smoothie you have to down every morning. This quote kind of sums it for me
I had mentioned that November was hectic, December was the superlative of that. Mid Dec was the time when the husband was down for his holidays, the schools had a Monthly review for which the kids were busy preparing, dance and music classes in session, my work from home, and then a trip to Rajasthan planned for the last week of December, so overall pretty much occupied with something or the other.
The trip was a change in location, and a getaway from Bangalore. The end of December is not the best time to visit Rajasthan IMO, it is overflowing with tourists and is super crowded. The city trips therefore were okayish with jostling crowds in all the touristic points. The most fun and memorable part of our trip was Ranthambore. Staying in a tent, spotting a tiger and being blessed by a langur (that's for my younger one) - highlights of the trip. Of course, the bunch of crow pheasants we had spotted earlier in the day made it lucky for us, if you believe in such stuff. I do ;) Having said that, I need a vacation again, away from my family.
Increasingly I feel the need to be away, away from home, away from responsibility of caring, of doing, of organizing, of being attentive, of listening, of nodding my head, yes, even for a short while...a few hours, and I am well aware that this is a sort of lazy, wishful thinking. With Big G's sudden stomach ache bouts and lil g's motion sickness, any sort of vacation involves me carrying a mobile pharmacy in my handbag, and the accompanying anxiety which I hope to do without. And corroborated by my single parenting experience over the last 2 years - no weekends. If I don't get up early on weekends I feel the lack of space for me and at the cost of sounding selfish I could do with some time off.
Even my wish to volunteer a few hours over the weekend becomes tough to achieve as logistical dilemmas on where to leave the kids appear. In other news, both the girls have discontinued with dance lessons. I personally am taking it as a loss. More than the dance, there were so many other aspects to it - skill, practice, discipline, getting over stage fear, cultural awareness,.. I should be happy as weekends are free now onwards, but I am disappointed. But decided not to force them.
We were to take a decision on our status quo in December - with regards to the family being together again, and while it is increasingly clear that the only way this can happen is with us going back again, there seems to be imminent a sea of change and adjustment all over again. I just hope we can go through it with good grace and courage or face any other changes with equanimity. Leaving parents and going away will kill me, especially with my mom's condition. I am in any case of no help to them living in a different city. I have so got used to talking to Mom twice a day. And I am steeling myself to the reality slowly.
Err, reality is so much like that spinach-smoothie you have to down every morning. This quote kind of sums it for me
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| Source: http://quotesgram.com/owl-city-quotes/ |
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Oh, Vibha! I do feel for you and can understand the varied emotions that you're going through-the need for me-time, the bitter-sweet decision of going back and to deal with the parent's situation. You're dealing with a lot and I really hope this year and the coming ones ease up on you and you get some peace and the inner happiness. Hugs and best wishes!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your wishes Uma :)
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