Text and subtext, losing context...

Communication and its mediums have undergone a radical transformation over the last few years. I reminisce about a time when we favored letters and phone calls, if not physically knocking on your friends' door. Phone calls were not that common, at least for me personally. I am referring to times when have lived  in hostels and  shared accommodation and had to be mindful of other people's rights over the shared phone too. It was a ratio of 1 phone to 125 girls at one point of time, and the phone would never stop ringing, it seemed.

So...letters it was, unless one met in person and phones for more urgent stuff. Meeting up with friends happened more often and the experience and moments relished and relived, even without selfies :D. Oh and letter writing was an art cum hobby cum habit. The wait and anticipation post sending a letter, the time spent in composing it, joy of receiving a an envelope bearing one's name, impatience in finding a quite corner to open it, reading and rereading a cherished para or sentence often, sometimes less invasive than a face to face conversation. Picking out stationary, letter pads, envelopes for special occasions, leading to almost connoisseur levels ...stuff relegated to the distinct past now.

Communication did became convenient with mobile phones. Not much of stepping into phone kiosks or making those 1 Re per 3 minute calls from tapri shops and forever looking to  saving all 1 rupee coins, just in case. Or queueing up outside phone booths. When mobile phones started out they were not the smart phone variety and one still managed to talk and interact sans distractions in the midst of a conversation. Conversations were whole hearted, and one was very much in the moment. Laptops were also exclusive items then. Moreover, there was a clear line between online and real life. A boundary, well drawn between office time and your time, one's online presence and offline presence and technology did not seem so all pervasive and invasive at first.

Now two things I feel lost without are my laptop and smartphone. Not necessarily smart, but that's how it is. I don't log off Skype or find it a bother to mostly. I have passive-aggressive stance with my Facebook presence, and I kind of can't do without Whatsapp. Have succumbed to the allure of Twitter too and we all know how easy it is to lose time on the internet. And in spite of having so much information, I still have not managed to get through the long list of "likes/favourites" saved in so many applications. And personally for me, the reading habit has dwindled. Mercifully,  have managed to stay away from instagram, pin it, stumble upon, tumblr, periscope...and do quora occiassionally.

Source: Whatsapp forward :D

And what is with apps? Everything seems to be so app-focussed, every business, even before it has really zeroed in on business model, revenue stream, exists as an app. Even to the extent of pushing people away from its website presence to its app avatar. Earlier I would perhaps (given the contact no constraint on mobile phones) deliberate on whether to have a 4th degree of separation contact on my list, now with the space constraints (which continue) I must decide between apps!!

And not surprisingly I hardly use the phone to call up people as much as I use it to communicate using apps like Whatsapp, FB, Twitter, Viber, Telegram etc. My social circle is suddenly widened thanks to technology. And I don't even know how the voice of some people sounds with whom I engage with almost every day. I believe (erroneously) that WA is less intrusive but with time and the constant pings, it becomes highly distracting. And yet friends on the 3 am list would still remain one or two.

The demands of virtual life are equally vociferous compared to that of my real life and over time I see it as a form of craziness. I don't post too many pics on FB but when I do, I still find myself needing the "validation" (read likes) and if I don't get "validation enough" (talking numbers here :D) I assume it is my photography skills or my "friendslist" or my "likeness factor" or some such vague criteria and in the past have let it bother me for a while.Or worse, when another friend on the list gets x no. of likes more for an average pic/post.  Do I even need to do this to myself, this trauma? Or the need to chide myself for not having such a snazzy or elitist or privileged lifestyle as someone else's courtesy their FB pics. And let me not even start with the compulsive checking of all these apps... time and again, aching eyeballs!

Source: FB timeline :)

A few people fall in the intersection of  the venn diagram of online/offline friends. Through these apps I make plans to meet up with people and then sometimes one of us calls it off. There are distance issues and such easy excuses to do it, adding emojis to substantiate. Sometimes you ping someone and they don't even respond, one get's impatient. Sometimes you get unfriended and are often left pondering over why? Or the other way, when the person is all over most apps but just happens to be too busy to respond to you citing time constraints. The worst is you talk but you don't say anything or someone speaks but you don't listen. In any case, each world can be an escape from the other or you dwell in both and there is exhaustion. Always connected but seemingly more disconnected,,,,

Technology demands - in time and attention, and I often feel this urgency to respond to a ping or tweet immediately. Even before someone points out I know I may be losing the plot. I pick up the phone and sometimes I do not think I could call the person without first pinging them to expect my call. The communication protocol seems to have changed. It is even considered uber cool to avoid people and remain aloof while privately keeping track of bits and bytes of their lives via any or some of these mediums. I really would like to know (not) what you had for breakfast, your latest fit bit score, and the mush factor in your relationships, without even asking. Such transparent lives we have begun leading.

I can't deny the impact of technology on our lives and lifestyle and am not being dismissive of all the benefits. Heck, I would find it a big challenge to go cold turkey myself. I am only looking for an equilibrium. Currently am doing my best to be balanced between the two though the balance often swings to online. Looks like a detox is due! Erm... any app to help me here?