Summer 2016...

Landed at parents' place in the second week of April. This time it has been a long-ish stay. Mom was in slightly better health the first few days and had some good times esp. the food she cooked when she could. Timelines have been fuzzy somewhat. It's difficult to explain or put down...Prima facie it is school vacations and we are spending all of two months here and some more..reality is that perhaps this is the last time I may be here at parents' place ... given Mom's health condition, given we plan to go back...uncertainties of life....it is not like I can plan to come down here on a whim for a short Dusshera break...unlike the last 2 years...

We spent a whole month with a focus on swimming.  For the kids of it was a swimming camp. Logistics made us choose afternoon slot.  Big G  has got over her fear of water from earlier attempts and in her case it worked out well. She has mastered the breast stroke this time, and already knew the doggy paddle from before. Their cousin S too managed to overcome her fear in her second attempt this time. The surprise package was lil G who gravitated from demanding swimming over other stuff, showed restrained enthusiasm in the early days, taking to it like a fish in water, then developing some anxiety and faking stomach pain before swimming almost on a daily basis...giving me some anxiety too. S's Mom and me sacrificed a whole month's siesta time for the swimming schedule, well, it is something we will always have to talk about :)

As for me, well, have been swimming in a lot of stuff, situations, decisions...oh the never ending trials of adult life.  Often floating with the current and a few times tried against and overall a mixed bag of experience, just being... It's been after years I am home this long with parents. The last time was when lil G was born and I recall that too was a time of transition for us as a family. I have come to accept that some of us will be more in a state of transition than others. It is a lot easier for me to accept the sense of restlessness I feel. The fact that I should not be too attached to the concept of home and more readily able to accept the concept of changes, reversals... be happy and accepting stuff without expectations.

After a lot of entreaties Mom has relented to have a cook. The first month I sweated cooking 3 meals for all of us in the sweltering heat...summer has come on strong this year. Now the cook and me sweat together trying to get it right for my Mom who is exacting in all that she does. That is actually what makes us sweat, lol!

As usual haven't written much, getting to pen down this was tough. There is a perfect Dutch phrase for this sort of feeling - ik heb geen zin - almost a lackadaisical, couldn't be bothered to do kind of interpretation. Also unable to write about volatile emotions running chaotically,,,,as of now. Yoga has helped me through this time, as have been a couple of friends who listen...and just being busy with day-to-day activities...That's all for now.