Gratitude can be elusive!
I am proud of the fact that I managed to sneak in a post on my vacation. A lot of it dwelt on being thankful too as here in this post I kind of struggle to be :D.
July was such a mixed month. The three weeks of vacation just zoomed past. This time I had some long pending daunting paperwork to sort out and though I've made a start on it, the entire thing is far from finished. It is WIP and ...to be continued (on next trip) state. I end up tackling these projects single handedly always... and now am resigned to it. This actually took up so much mindspace and time that I've completely missed out on some shopping....well in any case, it makes for less clutter, so happy with that too.
One thing is I could not find was shoes for Big G size 3 anywhere. I could not visit far-flung malls and the usual Bata, Khadims, Reliance etc don't stock that size! Kids are spending some extra time with extended family. I returned early for some paperwork again, will this ever end? Home is so silent I hear the neighbour's clock chiming by the hour.
I would have loved to spend more time with my father and at Hubli. I could not bring myself to go through Mom's stuff and sort it out to give away. And it was not just paucity of time that made it so. I opened the cupboard and there were all her clothes in an ironed pile....her sarees, her hankies. It was strange to be in a home with just men - dad and brother, in a manner of speaking, the lack of woman's presence, until I would realise with a jolt I should do my bit. Foodwise it was a nice trip - tried London Curry House and some other places. Had pani puri so often - a whole year's quota in a few days! Not quite so much actually.
There were many friends I called and could not meet. Some new acquaintances made, some old friendships I tried to reconnect with. As I had started out saying, I am happy that I am able to be mindful about things and people in my life and not taking it as a given, a privilege extended to me or even worse, expect anything with a sense of entitlement. I think this exercise of maintaining a blog journal of gratitude has been seeping into my interactions, way of life too. Not merely snippets one would randomly summon up to make a post and voila publish!
And yet, there are slip ups, unintentional or otherwise and of course someone in the extended family takes outrage. One tries to view the whole situation and recognizes that any lapses were unintentional, one talks to the other party, explains point of view and deems the matter closed. No, but not at the other end. On a one-one interaction, one senses holding back or sometimes even open non-acknowledgement of interactions. A thumbs up emoji does not count as a conversation, let me clarify. And one decides to let go. Not play along....it's a relief to do so.
Time races ahead and one reckons that some stuff is just not worth it. Especially in the face of folks being plain adamant and immature. So best to move on...and focus on things one can control. I miss the temples bells of Ganesh gudi and the call of the crow pheasants back home - a sighting too would happen most days. You do know it's lucky to spot one? Nature in every way revives, restores and calms and no wonder green is one of my favorite colours.
It's friendship day today, Aug 6, yes that's how late I am with my post. A big greeting to all my blog pals who pay a visit now and then. Or the silent lurkers if any, so long as I am being read.
Linking this post to the #GratitudeCircle at Vidya Sury's blog http://vidyasury.com/category/gratitude
July was such a mixed month. The three weeks of vacation just zoomed past. This time I had some long pending daunting paperwork to sort out and though I've made a start on it, the entire thing is far from finished. It is WIP and ...to be continued (on next trip) state. I end up tackling these projects single handedly always... and now am resigned to it. This actually took up so much mindspace and time that I've completely missed out on some shopping....well in any case, it makes for less clutter, so happy with that too.
One thing is I could not find was shoes for Big G size 3 anywhere. I could not visit far-flung malls and the usual Bata, Khadims, Reliance etc don't stock that size! Kids are spending some extra time with extended family. I returned early for some paperwork again, will this ever end? Home is so silent I hear the neighbour's clock chiming by the hour.
I would have loved to spend more time with my father and at Hubli. I could not bring myself to go through Mom's stuff and sort it out to give away. And it was not just paucity of time that made it so. I opened the cupboard and there were all her clothes in an ironed pile....her sarees, her hankies. It was strange to be in a home with just men - dad and brother, in a manner of speaking, the lack of woman's presence, until I would realise with a jolt I should do my bit. Foodwise it was a nice trip - tried London Curry House and some other places. Had pani puri so often - a whole year's quota in a few days! Not quite so much actually.
There were many friends I called and could not meet. Some new acquaintances made, some old friendships I tried to reconnect with. As I had started out saying, I am happy that I am able to be mindful about things and people in my life and not taking it as a given, a privilege extended to me or even worse, expect anything with a sense of entitlement. I think this exercise of maintaining a blog journal of gratitude has been seeping into my interactions, way of life too. Not merely snippets one would randomly summon up to make a post and voila publish!
And yet, there are slip ups, unintentional or otherwise and of course someone in the extended family takes outrage. One tries to view the whole situation and recognizes that any lapses were unintentional, one talks to the other party, explains point of view and deems the matter closed. No, but not at the other end. On a one-one interaction, one senses holding back or sometimes even open non-acknowledgement of interactions. A thumbs up emoji does not count as a conversation, let me clarify. And one decides to let go. Not play along....it's a relief to do so.
Time races ahead and one reckons that some stuff is just not worth it. Especially in the face of folks being plain adamant and immature. So best to move on...and focus on things one can control. I miss the temples bells of Ganesh gudi and the call of the crow pheasants back home - a sighting too would happen most days. You do know it's lucky to spot one? Nature in every way revives, restores and calms and no wonder green is one of my favorite colours.
It's friendship day today, Aug 6, yes that's how late I am with my post. A big greeting to all my blog pals who pay a visit now and then. Or the silent lurkers if any, so long as I am being read.
Linking this post to the #GratitudeCircle at Vidya Sury's blog http://vidyasury.com/category/gratitude
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Men without woman's presence is something I dread but Life has its own plans. I love reading and sharing gratitude posts. Pani Puri is my all time favorite but I am avoiding it in Monsoon. Happy to hop over your Blog.
ReplyDeleteHey thanks Upasana for visiting my blog! I agree on life having its own plans. Try making pani puri at home, that's my fool proof way to indulge!
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