Update post for what's left of 2019
And that's what you call when you post like once a year! This post has been pending since my birthday mid September but will see the light of the day close to daughter's birthday...fingers crossed! After writing the first two lines I had to step out of home for an impromptu errand...sigh! life's like that.
So where was I ...there was a second interruption to drink a cup of tea...something I can't resist is a good cup of tea...and today being a holiday was fun to put up the feet and indulge a little. All this after doing a good round of cleaning, cooking and the cleaning post cooking...its endless alright. Ok yes...so back to the post....wow am such a strong case for attention deficiency....no ...did not check my phone while writing the first two paras...but I had to check what I wrote last to maintan some continuity....
Lets take up vacations and visits....My father arrived in June and spent 3 'mixofemotions' months with us...easier to put it like that. In the summer vacation we had gone for a trip to Spain, covered Madrid, Granada, Toledo (why is this even a tourist spot!!), and Alhambara. It was a good trip for him as it was his first trip out. Getting both Mom and Dad to visit us here was something that could not happen.....one of my regrets in life. What is it with midlife that this list keeps growing?
I did a lot of cooking when Dad was here...he loves his food and I know staying alone he wouldnt be putting efforts to making a lot of stuff....so that bit was taken care of. Kids and he ...well after my Mom...the kids do face a gap in the grandparent department in terms of engagement. Pappa for his nature and personality tried his best....kids talk of him fondly but Nani holds the seat of distinction for them. My regret, told you...there's a long list for me...was I did not take him enough places. And I am asking him to come again so he can just tour on his own...us taking him everywhere not working out.
How do parents see lives their childrens live or build for themselves....Pappa has not given me any reactions on that..Mom was direct and would always tell me what she felt......not that I can change anything overnight in my life, relationships, choices....Maybe he just sees me doing my best on a day to day basis and takes heart from the fact that living on best effort basis is the better way to be. That was the summer update.
September onwards schools started and kids had been waiting since the summer vacations for schools to start. This year its piano and tennis for lil G and hockey and dance for big G. Both of them are growing and its 'mixofemotions' to see them growing so fast. Which for me can be read as aging...middle age-ing. I have reading glasses now...as I can't read the mobile screen in evenings. Weight problems getting weightier..intermittent yoga...and some dance...Daughter rightly calls out on the emotional eating I do...and that's a status quo...as has been doing some Moocs etc to better myself. Re dance i started with big G too and this year I am able to do wel all those steps I couldn't get the hang of last year...which is great for me I think.... Mom's birthday went by Oct end....and I miss her terribly....brother and me catch up occassionally for heartfelt talks.
Winter's upon us.....Diwali was good...we had friends over...shakkarparas were a fail...other stuff chivada and ghujiya were pretty ok....the potluck with Indian school families....big G agreeing to stay on longer in dance...kids getting independent regarding school work ....we manage to study for tests etc somehow though...hockey does take up 2 evenings of the week.....days and months speeding by....sometimes I feel everything is closing in on to me...and no letting up w.r.t. being engaged...even though I have consciously taken up limited activities .....perhapes on the responsibilities bit not so much...I don't know...but being busy is ok too...well not that busy as I have not made too much efforts to meet up wth a childhood friend who has moved here....ok..add that to the list of backlogs :)) Will do on priority.
I hope for all the frantic comings and goings...doings and not doings...life is a content one...when i can take the time to reflect upon it.....and I have time to paint my nails. DId this in one go folks...so proud of myself...catch you soon.
So where was I ...there was a second interruption to drink a cup of tea...something I can't resist is a good cup of tea...and today being a holiday was fun to put up the feet and indulge a little. All this after doing a good round of cleaning, cooking and the cleaning post cooking...its endless alright. Ok yes...so back to the post....wow am such a strong case for attention deficiency....no ...did not check my phone while writing the first two paras...but I had to check what I wrote last to maintan some continuity....
Lets take up vacations and visits....My father arrived in June and spent 3 'mixofemotions' months with us...easier to put it like that. In the summer vacation we had gone for a trip to Spain, covered Madrid, Granada, Toledo (why is this even a tourist spot!!), and Alhambara. It was a good trip for him as it was his first trip out. Getting both Mom and Dad to visit us here was something that could not happen.....one of my regrets in life. What is it with midlife that this list keeps growing?
I did a lot of cooking when Dad was here...he loves his food and I know staying alone he wouldnt be putting efforts to making a lot of stuff....so that bit was taken care of. Kids and he ...well after my Mom...the kids do face a gap in the grandparent department in terms of engagement. Pappa for his nature and personality tried his best....kids talk of him fondly but Nani holds the seat of distinction for them. My regret, told you...there's a long list for me...was I did not take him enough places. And I am asking him to come again so he can just tour on his own...us taking him everywhere not working out.
How do parents see lives their childrens live or build for themselves....Pappa has not given me any reactions on that..Mom was direct and would always tell me what she felt......not that I can change anything overnight in my life, relationships, choices....Maybe he just sees me doing my best on a day to day basis and takes heart from the fact that living on best effort basis is the better way to be. That was the summer update.
September onwards schools started and kids had been waiting since the summer vacations for schools to start. This year its piano and tennis for lil G and hockey and dance for big G. Both of them are growing and its 'mixofemotions' to see them growing so fast. Which for me can be read as aging...middle age-ing. I have reading glasses now...as I can't read the mobile screen in evenings. Weight problems getting weightier..intermittent yoga...and some dance...Daughter rightly calls out on the emotional eating I do...and that's a status quo...as has been doing some Moocs etc to better myself. Re dance i started with big G too and this year I am able to do wel all those steps I couldn't get the hang of last year...which is great for me I think.... Mom's birthday went by Oct end....and I miss her terribly....brother and me catch up occassionally for heartfelt talks.
Winter's upon us.....Diwali was good...we had friends over...shakkarparas were a fail...other stuff chivada and ghujiya were pretty ok....the potluck with Indian school families....big G agreeing to stay on longer in dance...kids getting independent regarding school work ....we manage to study for tests etc somehow though...hockey does take up 2 evenings of the week.....days and months speeding by....sometimes I feel everything is closing in on to me...and no letting up w.r.t. being engaged...even though I have consciously taken up limited activities .....perhapes on the responsibilities bit not so much...I don't know...but being busy is ok too...well not that busy as I have not made too much efforts to meet up wth a childhood friend who has moved here....ok..add that to the list of backlogs :)) Will do on priority.
I hope for all the frantic comings and goings...doings and not doings...life is a content one...when i can take the time to reflect upon it.....and I have time to paint my nails. DId this in one go folks...so proud of myself...catch you soon.
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So many updates! Life has a way of just being...all encompassing....isn't it? :) A bit early, but happy new year :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading Aparna..yes...life has its own ways .realizations often happen when when one looks back on it...rather than in it...perhaps a reflection on the state of self actualisation Wish you a Happy New Year too!
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