This is me...........

I am a bit of a recluse, painfully shy and proper. It's a big deal for me to ask for help, and I don't really get into personal stuff with people from day 1. Sometimes people find me cold, aloof, but I need my space and feel others do too. Maybe I am not too good at discipline, balance, etc, but there are always some essential values and principals which serve as my inner compass and navigate me through life's choppy waters.

Unless I'm very comfortable with someone, and even then, unless asked, I restrain myself from commenting on their appearance or clothes, unless it is something complimentary. This is certainly not the first thing i'd greet someone with, 'hey, but you need to lose some weight'. and certainly not if I was in an even worse shape than the other person.

How much money do you make - Another thing I don't ask people is . Sure, I'm curious, who is not, but not knowing does not bother me a whole lot. Its not important for me to peg my friends and acquaintances in a certain income bracket to shape my interaction with them.

Open someone's purse and look through - I don't do this with my husband's wallet, and I get irked if he tries to find something in my purse (its such a mess most of the times). But seriously, ask if you want something, or at least check if its ok for a look-see...No presumptions please!

Converse and do not interrogate - Sometimes after I've had a conversation with someone, I feel extremely exhausted, almost like after a session of 'Hard Talk' on BBC, whew........!!! Someone I know indulges in this Art of dialogue and at the end of it, she's probed on everything happening in my world, and i know almost nothing about hers. Any communication, if its not a fair exchange, beats the point. Might as well download it from PRweb.

Don't give me gifts and then tell me what they cost - Sounds crazy, make someone's day with a gift, and then take it away in an instance by saying how much it costs! An elderly relative gave a gold chain on my daughter's birhtday. We were touched! Then she told us that she had made it from a thick gold bracelet that her brother had given and blah..blah..blah. The gift lost all its charm!

Expectations, expectations!! This is a difficult one, I try but goof up on it many times. I mean some things are ok to expect - right, that when u write to ur friends they will write back, or remember to wish you on your birthday, etc. when you smile at someone, they smile back. But in everyone's busy lives, they do not do that, its kind of ok too. I refer to more profound things here.

What I don't get is when people say I did this for you, and that, and you've done nothing for me..... no gifts, etc, etc. And this kind of hurts when it comes from people close to you. And it is worse when they spell out sacrifices they have done in bringing up their children, and expect a pay-back of some kind.

Don't compare apples with bananas - We look at other people's lives from the outside and what you see is never a true and complete picture. And most people work extremely hard at shaping their lives! Also take into consideration skill-sets, opportunities, values, abilities, and luck. I try to look at other people's lives as an inspiration, to learn something from them, and never to compare what they have with what I don't. Call me laidback if you will, and sure i could have more money if i sent my 11-month old to daycare and went to work, but more rewarding for both of us is to have each other!!!!!! for the present at least.

A stitch in time saves nine - I don't get around doing this, but on all the occassions I have been better prepared, organised, the day has been much smoother for me.

Early bird catches the worm - OK, seem to be inspired by idioms, but so true, you have so many more hours before you sleep, and can pack in many more things to do.

Stare into other people's plates when they are eating - Some people can't get food off their minds, I am one of them. But it's just so rude to stare at people's plates. Makes me v. uncomfortable. I'm sure it'll give the other person a stomach-ache one day..

Bring up cultural differences all the time - I'm talking about tolerance here. My husband speaks a different language, and if we go by the traditional Hindu caste system, and I'm no Brahmin either. Having grown up in different states, having friends from many different backgrounds, I am slightly more tolerant of differences than many I know. Exposure expands your horizons, and one must make it a point to arise from stereotypical perceptions of anyone not from your socio-ethnic background. I mean if we Indians indulge all the while in parochialism, whatever is going to happen to our identity as a Hindutva state.

Keep confidences, at all costs - - We have a heart-to-heart between friends and the next day, her husband is in the know too. I pour my heart out to my cousin and the next day my aunt seems to be in the picture too. Well, i've only told my mother, she does protest. Well, i would've too, if I'd wanted too, in the first place!! I know gossip is so much fun, but respect confidences, pleasezZZZ!!

That is that, for now, will add more stuff by the by.