The before, the now and the after

Hi there, been a long time and I am even more lost. Where do I begin? Do I fill in with what has happened up till now. Last summer came and went...my Dad spent 3 months with us and hopefully it was as good for him as it was for us. It was especially hot last summer and the trip to Spain went ok, inspite of it...a lot of wine, patatas bravas, and the fried chillies...lol. Big G turned 13 last November, with a small celebration for friends at a pizza place (her idea)....She is as tall as me and I tell her that is no benchmark. Hopefully she maintains the growing spree...a very independent, mostly responsible kid who can be a stern and sulky sibling to her devoted younger sister. Lil g keeps her spirits and wits intact even with this and the sibling talk is hilarious.

2019 was pretty much uneventful by most counts. Unlike 2020 which is a googly. Initial news about the pandemic and I  had dismissed it to be yet another madness of March...not my favourite month of the year ever....right from exams during school days, financial year ends and the work schedules in March...getting married in March....yes..we all have our personal peeves...and then the madness has taken over an epic crazy trajectory ..impacting almost  everyone in the world....

Not going into stats and all that....its all over the internet. Personally, I have not been able to reach the recesses of my soul and get to my inner strength  or self-reflect or do  meditation or look at slowing down or some such thing. For me, it is a phase full of anxiety - of the uncertain times as we may be looking to move to a new place and who  does crazy stuff like that...Work has moved to Skype stand-ups and chats and though I save two hours of driving, I seem to be less efficient overall..am not even able to get up early enough on weekdays to do my yoga before logging in.

Nor is there much creativity in the kitchen. Everything else I do seems to be in between cooking meals...cleaning...laundry, grocery, keeping kids suitably occupied and encouraged.....all such responsibility on my broad shoulders only...Kids learning to help around at home slightly more lets say 1,5 %...not enough, its something though. The TV has been hijacked by kids and the husband...so it is twitter I sometimes take recourse to. It will be very wrong to associate my personal scattered-ness as due to Corona or Covid19....this phase has kind of brought my disorganized life to fore and I can't ignore it any more.

One day at a time has been my motto since years to come and still remains the most compelling thing I follow...do what I can today, realise there may be some things pending and plan for a better tomorrow.

PS: It's taken me some effort to write this down and I hope it was not too incoherent. I am being brave to publish it as it is.




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