It's that time of the year.........

When you tend to assess the year that's coming to an end and make resolutions for the next year. For me, this year is  a bit difficult to look at objectively and generalize as better than previous year(s), or even basically adjectivize it in some way.  If I had to paint it on a canvas, I would say occasional splashes of  yellows and greens dominated by shades of blacks, scarlets and greys.

The relatively good things were little G starting school - which went on without a hitch. Potty training was a breeze too because I finished with the last diaper and refused to buy any more. Big G is turning into a sweet child - inquisitive, grounded, fewer tantrums over clothes, food, etc. She is reading more and more, without me having to force her.

I got over my fear of swimming without floats. In the beginning my inability to do so had me down, because it was all about conquering fear and my mind. Swimming in an unfamiliar pool in Grindelwald  was indeed a small high. A continued high will be to visit the swimming pool more often:)

Then was the husband's announcement that he was bored with his work and was looking at a new challenge.......... When I was also working revelations of the kind did not sound scary but now it paralyses me. I went for an interview and qualified for it, but the hours they wanted me to work were not acceptable and then there was a long commute. So in fact my biggest failure for 2012 has been in terms of being mobile, just getting behind a car and steering it.

This has even contributed to bouts of depression and dependence that I try to limit myself and then chafe against it. There is the gym I cannot make it to often because of the too long a walk, with my time being prime time for home and family. And then activities for the kids too get limited - only those places we can walk to. I am not unreasonable to say I need a car for myself, but I think it's very unfair when I can't even learn/practice on the husband's car as he is so sure I will crash it. Why then, does he bestow such great confidence in me cooking, handling finances, and caring for the kids.

Also I have come to the conclusion that I was crazy to try and learn 2 languages at the same time. I know of some people who have done it, but I think I don't have the drivers installed for processing both together! So come January, I am going to take a break from languages per se. And do what? Pursue freelancing work in writing maybe. So anyone looking for some content development, do give me a shout. One thing I want to do is watch more movies and read books. Of late, reading has become very less.

On friendship and relationships it's been a mixed bag. I am coming around to the fact that if one is not lucky enough to have lifelong friendships but one has friends in all their phases of life, it's good enough. And I am content. Also I am against trying too hard, or being too eager. If it has to be it will be, if not, I'm happy with my company. I'm happy that blogging gives me an opportunity to interact with different people and feel connected.

Uma has inspired me to make a wishlist for 2013 and I think I will work on one so that next year 2013 I am not too lost in realizing  how I've spent one whole year of my life.