Habits in young children

How easy is it to form new habits or to get rid of old ones? Or for that matter, keep up with the good ones we have anyways been following? As an adult, one thing that comes to mind is to be mindful at all times of what one is doing. I know that is easier said than done for us.

Which brings me to ask how habit formation can happen with young kids. In my personal experience, I think habit formation is something which has to be drilled down into them and reinforced again and again. Repetition is clearly the thing here. And we want them to get a whole lot of things right, don't we? Washing their hands, drinking enough water, minding Ps and Qs, not interrupting conversations, chewing with mouth closed, putting their toys away, eating whatever is made for the day and so on...

I realise that I start with my daily spiel right from the time the kids are up and give it rest only once they sleep. We begin with brushing the teeth. Three of us in the bathroom - two sleepy-eyed kids and a watchful me who gets started without any relief I begin - First rinse your mouths, no don't waste any water, rinse till it get's over. Wash your faces, so the sleep is washed away. Wash the brush first, then apply the paste, no, not too much paste. No eating paste! Clean your tongues, gargle, yes, at least 3 times minimum.

Believe me, it sounds boring and nagging to my own self and if someone is overhearing us,  but if I were to miss it or bits of it, I may have sleep encrusted eyes, little people who forgot to gargle in the excitement of getting on with their day or someone being plain lazy and skipping something. After all, this is personal hygiene and I may test it by randomly sniffing mouths too. As it is sometimes they will go to the bathroom in the middle of the brushing routine rather than going first thing in the morning or after. We are working on this.

There is a similar charade at the breakfast table too, which ends with reminders to put plates in the sink and rinse mouths again. We head on to changing for school. Most days we have laid the clothes out the night before, but if not, I nag/remind to make it a habit for the night before. Repeat reminders to wear their winter warmers, mufflers, jackets, apply cream. Yes, it needs reminders, I have had a kid going to school in her sweater, and it had slipped even my notice, face-palm but yes. Homework times now, where we must begin with a sharpened pencil and eraser.

And there are so many things in between. Can be overwhelming too, for both the parties. Obviously, nobody can get it all in one day. And it's wrong to expect too much. So slow and steady is the way to go. Consistency is important, or be ready to start again from a few steps behind. Positive affirmations also help. If there are two, a gentle comparison at times may work. For bad habits like stopping biting nails, a reward may work too. Some habits are non-negotiable like speaking the truth, not calling names...

Then again there are some habits which don't work by just telling, however persistently or insistently one does it. Keeping stuff organised and in it's place is one. Eating healthy is another one. Courtesy and pleasant interaction with other people.  All these are demonstration habits which they will absorb by observation first and then by reminders. I can't expect my kids to keep their toys in place when I keep the house untidy and there are no fixed places for anything. Or for that matter, insist they eat fruits while I dunk biscuits into my tea. The fact that I feel guilty when I admonish them to limit chocolates or candy while I keep a secret stash of my own. Which also makes me realise that I should clean up my act before I expect stuff from them.

How do you instil good habits in your children?

Cross posted here.