Ah, urgh! doesn't she go on and on......
I am into this phase of wanting to redefine for some time now and kind of stuck, not content with the way things are now, but too lazy to make radical changes............ kind of living my life by being diligent in a minimalistic way.
BEING DILIGENT IN A MINIMALISTIC WAY - have caught on to this phrase from a Formula 1 story on Ralf Schumacher, and of course the context is totally different, but yes, it can be applied to me right now. I do not know how this phase started, but for a few years now, i've kind of drifted along, not acquired any new skills, not expanded my comfort zones, just made do with what i have. Dabbled here and there, but never put my heart into anything.......and you know, this can result in slow, easy death of one's faculties. Doing my best to come out of it, thought blogging would be one possibility I could explore - to do away with my stage fright; give my opinions with conviction, stop feeling that i am not good enough for this or that.........and that there is a space for all to co-exist.
You don't follow my drift, hey, u are not supposed to, right, it is my stream of consciousness style, giving vent to a constant pitter-patter of thoughts, unedited, scrambled, running from one point to another, jumping time, continents, flitting here-there like a giant monarch............ random, erratic, ceaseless too! Which makes me think, when will i ever be content with the way i am, and accept situations as they are, instead of trying to fight, resist, sulk, cry, or be obsessed about things beyond my control.
Honestly, do u think I'm verbose, i think so with all these words, but look -that's my style, and all those buyers at gaf had better acknowledge and appreciate that, which other market trades at $2 for a 500-worder. am venting my angst at some service cartel i did some work for now and then...and like always have a pointer or two for all my employers if only they have the good sense to take it - in the right spirit! all employers seek to exploit, that is the cardinal rule and selling your soul till age 60 - well, the world seems to be ok with that!
ok, there i go again, all over the place and yet nowhere!!! But that is me. tell me something about urself - i find that the most difficult question in any situation, a job interview, a general introduction, profile question.... there is no me, as in me is this, that, and that.
Me is, me was, me is dynamic, changing! Me is a daughter, wife, a mother, a friend, a neighbour, a tennant, a tourist. Me is nice, friendly, ambitious, lazy, meticulous, crazy, rebel! Me is a book lover, slapdash home maker, a decent cook. Me is spiritual, paranoid at times, me is out of shape, me is struggling with french and dutch!!!! But me wants to be free of definitions, absolved of all conventions! Me wants to be unchained, liberated, free, undefined by all and any of the above.
I am so perplexed, that i spew out a few adjectives to get done with that damned question. What is the interviewer going to do, peep into my soul?
So, as i was saying, redefining is not as easy as you may think it is. There are so many things to consider that I just go around in circles. or i spread myself too thin. Imagine attempting to take care of an energetic 7 month old, and learning French or even Dutch sometimes(whichever I am game for) as well as trying to understand the basics of derivatives or software testing or anything which requires some concentration, ... and of course managing household chores, keeping the wooden floors dust and blemish free. On an aside......... You have no idea just how much dust can enter into a house with double glazed windows and which is kept shut like a matchbox because of some crazy climatic conditions in this place. Daily routines and demands cannot be shrugged off at any cost.
Well, of course then, redefining kind of takes a back seat, maybe its not the right time yet, i think, as i once again juggle between spontaneous dancing (to keep baby amused) and mind the spluttering in the saucepan too. Oh damn, does the phone have to ring now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, it will so just have to wait for next time..
BEING DILIGENT IN A MINIMALISTIC WAY - have caught on to this phrase from a Formula 1 story on Ralf Schumacher, and of course the context is totally different, but yes, it can be applied to me right now. I do not know how this phase started, but for a few years now, i've kind of drifted along, not acquired any new skills, not expanded my comfort zones, just made do with what i have. Dabbled here and there, but never put my heart into anything.......and you know, this can result in slow, easy death of one's faculties. Doing my best to come out of it, thought blogging would be one possibility I could explore - to do away with my stage fright; give my opinions with conviction, stop feeling that i am not good enough for this or that.........and that there is a space for all to co-exist.
You don't follow my drift, hey, u are not supposed to, right, it is my stream of consciousness style, giving vent to a constant pitter-patter of thoughts, unedited, scrambled, running from one point to another, jumping time, continents, flitting here-there like a giant monarch............ random, erratic, ceaseless too! Which makes me think, when will i ever be content with the way i am, and accept situations as they are, instead of trying to fight, resist, sulk, cry, or be obsessed about things beyond my control.
Honestly, do u think I'm verbose, i think so with all these words, but look -that's my style, and all those buyers at gaf had better acknowledge and appreciate that, which other market trades at $2 for a 500-worder. am venting my angst at some service cartel i did some work for now and then...and like always have a pointer or two for all my employers if only they have the good sense to take it - in the right spirit! all employers seek to exploit, that is the cardinal rule and selling your soul till age 60 - well, the world seems to be ok with that!
ok, there i go again, all over the place and yet nowhere!!! But that is me. tell me something about urself - i find that the most difficult question in any situation, a job interview, a general introduction, profile question.... there is no me, as in me is this, that, and that.
Me is, me was, me is dynamic, changing! Me is a daughter, wife, a mother, a friend, a neighbour, a tennant, a tourist. Me is nice, friendly, ambitious, lazy, meticulous, crazy, rebel! Me is a book lover, slapdash home maker, a decent cook. Me is spiritual, paranoid at times, me is out of shape, me is struggling with french and dutch!!!! But me wants to be free of definitions, absolved of all conventions! Me wants to be unchained, liberated, free, undefined by all and any of the above.
I am so perplexed, that i spew out a few adjectives to get done with that damned question. What is the interviewer going to do, peep into my soul?
So, as i was saying, redefining is not as easy as you may think it is. There are so many things to consider that I just go around in circles. or i spread myself too thin. Imagine attempting to take care of an energetic 7 month old, and learning French or even Dutch sometimes(whichever I am game for) as well as trying to understand the basics of derivatives or software testing or anything which requires some concentration, ... and of course managing household chores, keeping the wooden floors dust and blemish free. On an aside......... You have no idea just how much dust can enter into a house with double glazed windows and which is kept shut like a matchbox because of some crazy climatic conditions in this place. Daily routines and demands cannot be shrugged off at any cost.
Well, of course then, redefining kind of takes a back seat, maybe its not the right time yet, i think, as i once again juggle between spontaneous dancing (to keep baby amused) and mind the spluttering in the saucepan too. Oh damn, does the phone have to ring now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, it will so just have to wait for next time..
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This is a good blog. Keep writing, this will improve your skills.
ReplyDeleteSanjeev
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