Portrait of a SAHM
I am stay-at-home mom for close to two years now. With my own mother being a working mom, I have no real role model of one.
Back home, I had a neighbour, Mrs. S. When I was a working woman, without a baby of my own and a rather carefree attitude to life, Mrs. S and me did not have much in common. I may have mentioned before I am not one for small talk (chatty wren is actually a misnomer), and Mrs. S has a reputation for being a jabber-wok, our interaction was occasional and limited. She has 2 children, an extremely busy husband, is very social and has a lot of friends all over the building society. She was also the "unofficial watchdog" for our floor and would keep a look out for all comings and goings on our floor.
My husband would chide me to be a bit more social with neighbours. Sometimes I would meet her in the lobby area and exchange hellos, enquire about her kids. Occasionally, I would knock on her door to have some stilted conversation, mostly about the dhobi. Why dhobi, because we shared the same one, and with my work hours and his erratic timings, we would often miss each other!
In my ignorance, I assumed that Mrs. S and the SAHM tribe don't do much, and have so much time at their disposal!! Ha, ha! The SAHM pillar around which the entire household rallies!! Mrs. S is the adhunik-paramparik combination of the woman of today. She follows politics, cricket, organises sundar-kaand pujas at home, can crochet and knit, entertains 2-3 families at a time..............teaches her sons, finds time for friends, goes for morning walks, wakes up early enough to cook breakfast and pack lunch for family, does neighborly visits, basically can adhere to all aspects of social protocol required in daily life, wow, intimidating for me!!!!
When I came to Belgium and found myself in a similar position, I started thinking of her - in terms of having a framework for reference. I must say, I have to learn a lot from her. I get tired, frustrated at times keeping a clean home, a well-fed baby, entertaining occasionally (we really don't know too many people here), and at my own lack of progress in the few tasks I set out to myself. I still come from the mindset of specifying job-roles around the house for myself and hubby, and sometimes am reluctant to take up more than my fair share.
Maybe the face of Mrs. S I would see was one for appearances, the social face, but I remember she was always very well turned out, not a hair out of place. In taking care of everything around her, Mrs. S surely finds the time to take care of herself too, put her feet up and apply some lipstick too. Best is she rules her nest! Now that I have all the time in the world to stop and stare, I can appreciate Mrs. S so much more.
I am also learning how to worry less about things which are not in my control. I am learning to be so much more responsible about my home and family than I used to be. I don't say I want to be just like her, because that ideal is just a perceived image. But I would sure be happy to be more living in the moment, content with doing simple things like a new recipe or making G happy with some goofy antic. Learning to accept that the 2-year void on my resume is not anything I can do about and worrying about it without taking any constructive action is not going to help.
That time spent with G is worth so much more than some money I would bank in my account.
Thank you, Mrs. S for the perspective and the doll you gave G!
Back home, I had a neighbour, Mrs. S. When I was a working woman, without a baby of my own and a rather carefree attitude to life, Mrs. S and me did not have much in common. I may have mentioned before I am not one for small talk (chatty wren is actually a misnomer), and Mrs. S has a reputation for being a jabber-wok, our interaction was occasional and limited. She has 2 children, an extremely busy husband, is very social and has a lot of friends all over the building society. She was also the "unofficial watchdog" for our floor and would keep a look out for all comings and goings on our floor.
My husband would chide me to be a bit more social with neighbours. Sometimes I would meet her in the lobby area and exchange hellos, enquire about her kids. Occasionally, I would knock on her door to have some stilted conversation, mostly about the dhobi. Why dhobi, because we shared the same one, and with my work hours and his erratic timings, we would often miss each other!
In my ignorance, I assumed that Mrs. S and the SAHM tribe don't do much, and have so much time at their disposal!! Ha, ha! The SAHM pillar around which the entire household rallies!! Mrs. S is the adhunik-paramparik combination of the woman of today. She follows politics, cricket, organises sundar-kaand pujas at home, can crochet and knit, entertains 2-3 families at a time..............teaches her sons, finds time for friends, goes for morning walks, wakes up early enough to cook breakfast and pack lunch for family, does neighborly visits, basically can adhere to all aspects of social protocol required in daily life, wow, intimidating for me!!!!
When I came to Belgium and found myself in a similar position, I started thinking of her - in terms of having a framework for reference. I must say, I have to learn a lot from her. I get tired, frustrated at times keeping a clean home, a well-fed baby, entertaining occasionally (we really don't know too many people here), and at my own lack of progress in the few tasks I set out to myself. I still come from the mindset of specifying job-roles around the house for myself and hubby, and sometimes am reluctant to take up more than my fair share.
Maybe the face of Mrs. S I would see was one for appearances, the social face, but I remember she was always very well turned out, not a hair out of place. In taking care of everything around her, Mrs. S surely finds the time to take care of herself too, put her feet up and apply some lipstick too. Best is she rules her nest! Now that I have all the time in the world to stop and stare, I can appreciate Mrs. S so much more.
I am also learning how to worry less about things which are not in my control. I am learning to be so much more responsible about my home and family than I used to be. I don't say I want to be just like her, because that ideal is just a perceived image. But I would sure be happy to be more living in the moment, content with doing simple things like a new recipe or making G happy with some goofy antic. Learning to accept that the 2-year void on my resume is not anything I can do about and worrying about it without taking any constructive action is not going to help.
That time spent with G is worth so much more than some money I would bank in my account.
Thank you, Mrs. S for the perspective and the doll you gave G!
.JPG)
Comments
Post a Comment
Leave a comment!