Friendship - sweet and uncategorized
I should really not be writing this post, given my lovely luck with making friends and friendships in general, but what the heck. Good people in life must be lauded and appreciated.
This friendship goes a long way back - almost 30 years ago. We'd moved to a small place in Bihar. I remember my little brother and me walking hand-in-hand to school. Down the road where we lived, this chubby little boy (well, he must excuse me for my first impressions) with round glasses would also leave home the same time around. We had to make it to school before the 8 'o clock siren, walking down a sloping road, then through the football ground, and then a small uneven lane which further went on to another village. But we turned left for our school there.
Soon he started waiting for us and we all walked together - talking about this and that. G was a very good student and also active in extra-curriculars. He was one year my junior but actually a few months older than me. I liked his sense of humour. On the way when we met other grown-ups we would greet them - Namaste Uncle/Aunty but G would only smile. His explanation was Bongs touch elders' feet as greeting and he can't be doing that on the street surely! Whatever, we had a hearty laugh visualizing it.
What G and me had in common was our love for reading. He had a whole cupboard full of books and comics, which he was very guarded about and selective about lending. Except for me - my brother and me were always welcome and he would fling open both the doors in a magnanimous gesture, the comics and books would come tumbling down... Tuesdays and Thursday evenings were reserved for library visits. Sometimes the 3 of us, or sometimes G and me accompanied by one of our fathers would walk to the club. At the entrance of the club itself you could see if the library was open. I can't tell you the disappointment which we felt when it was closed for some reason. There was an assortment of Enid Blytons, Hardy Boys, Nancy Drews, children's classics - which probably was the highlight of our lives then.
Living in the colony we would meet during birthday parties, pandal hopping for Durga Puja and Saraswati Puja, housie evenings in the club, and we soon became close friends.Of course, we moved in very different circles, exclusively girls for me and only boys for him. But he would seek me out in school if he had a new book to read and promise to give to me 3 hours after we got back home. And either he would drop it home or I would send my brother to fetch it. G was so particular about the deadline, I have received books a couple of times with some dal in it :)
A lot of us went to give him company when he was convalescing from typhoid, he was a well-liked kid. We had a lot to talk about during the school run and back and sometimes we would stand at his gate and talk on inspite of growling tummies. We would exchange notes on how we studied before exams, how fast we could read a particular book, our holiday experiences, planned for picnics with friends. So he told us about how his brother sleepwalks and about the snakes we spotted near our house, try to pluck raw mangoes in the summer, crib about holiday homework and square-roots - days of childhood innocence. We did this school play together - The Dear Departed, missing classes was so much fun. I do remember other kids teasing us about our friendship at times, but we remained innocently stoic in the face of it.
When we moved out of Bihar, G and I started exchanging letters. Of course, at first it was 1.5 pages to my brother and a small paragraph for me. But soon, since the onus of writing back was solely mine - my brother couldn't care less - G cut him out of the pretense. Soon, they moved to another state too, out of Bihar. I moved to Mumbai for junior college and we continued to write to each other. He sent me my first ever Valentine card, I still remember it - one of those UNICEF or CRY ones, a tree with heart-shaped pink leaves. It was my group of friends who screamed - can't you see the hearts, that made me consider things in that light for a while.
G scored very well in his 12th exams. But he did not clear the engineering entrance in his first attempt. In fact, he took a two year break before he started engineering. He simply did not want to pursue it by paying capitation fees. And this is something I really admire about him. I still remember his jubilant letter when he got admission to engineering college. That was also the time we did not write to each other so frequently.
He wrote to tell me that he is in love with S, co-incidentally another girl from my colony. I remember entertaining her one day while lying on the bed when they'd come for dinner, but that is another story:) I ought to be honest that my vain adult self experienced a brief sense of loss and jealousy here. I have fond memories of my hear beating fast whenever I saw his letter addressed to me in his spidery handwriting lying in the post slot V. I think the Valentines cards stopped then, thankfully, they were getting embarrassingly louder.
When the internet was just introduced, and I was working for a publication, we started exchanging emails. He wrote to tell me that he is awaiting his MBA entrance results and his heart was on IIM-A. And he made it. Life and events ran their course, as young adults we each got busy with our lives and new experiences. I could write to him of my boyfriend only many many years later, actually I think I emailed. I think the tradition of writing to each other died a slow death in the internet age. We even scanned our respective wedding cards and sent them online. We are now connected via email, facebook, etc, but I can't say I know G very well any longer.
In fact, I've not met him ever since leaving Bihar, save for a brief train-halt moment in Karnal. This was during his engineering days and I saw him with a group of friends - unexpected, short and strange meeting that was. I also did not call him on my way back here via Delhi recently because for one - our stay was only a couple of hours, and also I was not sure how we would relate as adults, with spouses and children etc. We do connect without fail - every February 19 and every September 15 to wish each other and then withdraw to the background, drawn in by other demands and occupations of our respective lives.
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P.S. Thanks to IndiBlogeshwaris for this writing prompt.
This friendship goes a long way back - almost 30 years ago. We'd moved to a small place in Bihar. I remember my little brother and me walking hand-in-hand to school. Down the road where we lived, this chubby little boy (well, he must excuse me for my first impressions) with round glasses would also leave home the same time around. We had to make it to school before the 8 'o clock siren, walking down a sloping road, then through the football ground, and then a small uneven lane which further went on to another village. But we turned left for our school there.
Soon he started waiting for us and we all walked together - talking about this and that. G was a very good student and also active in extra-curriculars. He was one year my junior but actually a few months older than me. I liked his sense of humour. On the way when we met other grown-ups we would greet them - Namaste Uncle/Aunty but G would only smile. His explanation was Bongs touch elders' feet as greeting and he can't be doing that on the street surely! Whatever, we had a hearty laugh visualizing it.
What G and me had in common was our love for reading. He had a whole cupboard full of books and comics, which he was very guarded about and selective about lending. Except for me - my brother and me were always welcome and he would fling open both the doors in a magnanimous gesture, the comics and books would come tumbling down... Tuesdays and Thursday evenings were reserved for library visits. Sometimes the 3 of us, or sometimes G and me accompanied by one of our fathers would walk to the club. At the entrance of the club itself you could see if the library was open. I can't tell you the disappointment which we felt when it was closed for some reason. There was an assortment of Enid Blytons, Hardy Boys, Nancy Drews, children's classics - which probably was the highlight of our lives then.
Living in the colony we would meet during birthday parties, pandal hopping for Durga Puja and Saraswati Puja, housie evenings in the club, and we soon became close friends.Of course, we moved in very different circles, exclusively girls for me and only boys for him. But he would seek me out in school if he had a new book to read and promise to give to me 3 hours after we got back home. And either he would drop it home or I would send my brother to fetch it. G was so particular about the deadline, I have received books a couple of times with some dal in it :)
A lot of us went to give him company when he was convalescing from typhoid, he was a well-liked kid. We had a lot to talk about during the school run and back and sometimes we would stand at his gate and talk on inspite of growling tummies. We would exchange notes on how we studied before exams, how fast we could read a particular book, our holiday experiences, planned for picnics with friends. So he told us about how his brother sleepwalks and about the snakes we spotted near our house, try to pluck raw mangoes in the summer, crib about holiday homework and square-roots - days of childhood innocence. We did this school play together - The Dear Departed, missing classes was so much fun. I do remember other kids teasing us about our friendship at times, but we remained innocently stoic in the face of it.
When we moved out of Bihar, G and I started exchanging letters. Of course, at first it was 1.5 pages to my brother and a small paragraph for me. But soon, since the onus of writing back was solely mine - my brother couldn't care less - G cut him out of the pretense. Soon, they moved to another state too, out of Bihar. I moved to Mumbai for junior college and we continued to write to each other. He sent me my first ever Valentine card, I still remember it - one of those UNICEF or CRY ones, a tree with heart-shaped pink leaves. It was my group of friends who screamed - can't you see the hearts, that made me consider things in that light for a while.
G scored very well in his 12th exams. But he did not clear the engineering entrance in his first attempt. In fact, he took a two year break before he started engineering. He simply did not want to pursue it by paying capitation fees. And this is something I really admire about him. I still remember his jubilant letter when he got admission to engineering college. That was also the time we did not write to each other so frequently.
He wrote to tell me that he is in love with S, co-incidentally another girl from my colony. I remember entertaining her one day while lying on the bed when they'd come for dinner, but that is another story:) I ought to be honest that my vain adult self experienced a brief sense of loss and jealousy here. I have fond memories of my hear beating fast whenever I saw his letter addressed to me in his spidery handwriting lying in the post slot V. I think the Valentines cards stopped then, thankfully, they were getting embarrassingly louder.
When the internet was just introduced, and I was working for a publication, we started exchanging emails. He wrote to tell me that he is awaiting his MBA entrance results and his heart was on IIM-A. And he made it. Life and events ran their course, as young adults we each got busy with our lives and new experiences. I could write to him of my boyfriend only many many years later, actually I think I emailed. I think the tradition of writing to each other died a slow death in the internet age. We even scanned our respective wedding cards and sent them online. We are now connected via email, facebook, etc, but I can't say I know G very well any longer.
In fact, I've not met him ever since leaving Bihar, save for a brief train-halt moment in Karnal. This was during his engineering days and I saw him with a group of friends - unexpected, short and strange meeting that was. I also did not call him on my way back here via Delhi recently because for one - our stay was only a couple of hours, and also I was not sure how we would relate as adults, with spouses and children etc. We do connect without fail - every February 19 and every September 15 to wish each other and then withdraw to the background, drawn in by other demands and occupations of our respective lives.
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P.S. Thanks to IndiBlogeshwaris for this writing prompt.
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Such a nostalgic post..... I am drawn back to the days when I would write a lot of letters too.. and what a joy it was when my mother called out saying I have a letter....
ReplyDeleteVery beautifully written Chatty wren.... I have read almost all your posts but I can only comment when I login from my laptop :(
Yes, Kismi toffee, the days of writing letters and waiting expectantly for the replies were too good!
DeleteThanks for reading me, I'll see if I can do something to make it easier to comment.
writing letters has its own charm....here you had a true friendship...
ReplyDeleteYes, the best part was waiting for the reply! Thanks Renuji, it still is:)
DeleteFull of nostalgia and heartfelt emotions. Loved the way you guys connected over books.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jas! Lot of great memories here!
DeleteAh, the days when writing letters had a charm of its own!
ReplyDeleteIt was heartwarming to read about your friendhsip with G surviving the test of times through the letters you wrote to each other.
Sometimes the best of friendships wear out for reasons incomprehensible.
I hope you do get back in touch with G and revive your friendship like before :)
Agree Deeps, some friendships last and some fizzle out, inspite or maybe because of trying too hard! Thanks for your kind wishes!
DeleteHey this is such a sweet post!! Hope you guys once again get to be good friends...
ReplyDeleteThanks ZM! Honestly, I don't know if that's possible, because we all grow differently and though we'd talked about catching up, it won't be the same, and lot of adjustments to perceptions...but who knows!
Delete