The world of big G
Big G and me don't see eye to eye on stuff - clothes, food, amount of TV to watch, habits, hygiene.......everything actually. Each of us thinks we know best. There is this underlying friction where one of us most times is making a conscientious (or reluctant) effort to come around to the others's point of view. We try to meet half or quarter way. I try not to get too carried away by my expectation of unquestioned obedience and withhold hugs and kisses. It is not easy for me to hug a defiant child! I am the resident bad cop.
Her legendary stubbornness was there since she was a baby. It's come to stay with lil G arriving on the scene. Earlier, we used to walk as if on egg shells for fear of tantrums. We have agreements which are non-reversible once reached. Eg, alternating trousers and skirts with leggings on school days. And the lunch box wars! For a long time when she would take nothing but bread and butter, not even cheese, now on alternate days stuffed paratha with boiled egg/channa go. She has nice black straight hair which is periodically trimmed at the barber's as she will just not let clips/rubber bands stay on. Out of all the sweaters she has, she concedes to wearing only 1; the other reluctantly when the first is in the wash. Ditto for shoes.
Did I mention food times? After the nibbles she insists on taking to school, she is hungry as a lioness by the time they are home. Anything can trigger a flare up. The more equanimous lil G is given her plate of food to eat on her own. I have to feed big G especially on days when the food is not her favorite. I would eat peas if they were pink!! she says. So greens are a strict no-no. Dal is eaten only in disguised forms. Slowly, the repertoire of foods increases but every new recipe has to be sold to a suspicious child.
These days all our tiffs are re the TV. Once back from school it's mandatory TV time. I am ok with a half hour of viewing to unwind (really, do kids need it?!!). My acquiescence has become her addiction. To the extent that she sits twirling her hair in front of the TV, irritated when interrupted, least responsive to her playful sister who tries to draw her out........As a functional single parent ( almost!!), I need some time off to do essential chores when the kids are home so TV comes in handy for that. Already both the G's discuss Peppa Pig, Olivia, Umizoomi, hmm!! Fights, tantrums, are staged when TV is shut. What will I do now? is a question I am supposed to answer every 10 mins or so whenever an activity is concluded.
Make-believe play, spontaneous games do happen but few and far between. It is fun seeing the kids indulge in them because it gives me insight into their world and thoughts. Painting, drawing, lego, reluctant reading and writing too happen when I give her a push. Then there are her unending questions for me. I delight in the way she figures out things, digests information, makes connections. On the way to school we look out for snails, discuss bees and mosquitoes, why they eat what they eat, the different shades of green, I am given candid feedback on my parenting :). LOL, mothers have surprise review sessions and KPI's too!!! What I struggle to answer, I am told to look up on the internet!
When the TV is off limits, she makes a beeline to the computer. OK, she is allowed to work on starfall.com for a while (another liberty granted too soon). Now with some preliminary reading and writing skills can figure out how to watch dora on youtube, maybe the K3 songs and where that might lead to is not something I am comfortable with.
And yesterday I was given this. The schedule to be followed after school. Mama, how many times to tell you that we must do this when I come back. She also explained it to me in case I did not get it D:! It's now stuck it on the fridge. Way to go, big G!! And whatever next??
Her legendary stubbornness was there since she was a baby. It's come to stay with lil G arriving on the scene. Earlier, we used to walk as if on egg shells for fear of tantrums. We have agreements which are non-reversible once reached. Eg, alternating trousers and skirts with leggings on school days. And the lunch box wars! For a long time when she would take nothing but bread and butter, not even cheese, now on alternate days stuffed paratha with boiled egg/channa go. She has nice black straight hair which is periodically trimmed at the barber's as she will just not let clips/rubber bands stay on. Out of all the sweaters she has, she concedes to wearing only 1; the other reluctantly when the first is in the wash. Ditto for shoes.
Did I mention food times? After the nibbles she insists on taking to school, she is hungry as a lioness by the time they are home. Anything can trigger a flare up. The more equanimous lil G is given her plate of food to eat on her own. I have to feed big G especially on days when the food is not her favorite. I would eat peas if they were pink!! she says. So greens are a strict no-no. Dal is eaten only in disguised forms. Slowly, the repertoire of foods increases but every new recipe has to be sold to a suspicious child.
These days all our tiffs are re the TV. Once back from school it's mandatory TV time. I am ok with a half hour of viewing to unwind (really, do kids need it?!!). My acquiescence has become her addiction. To the extent that she sits twirling her hair in front of the TV, irritated when interrupted, least responsive to her playful sister who tries to draw her out........As a functional single parent ( almost!!), I need some time off to do essential chores when the kids are home so TV comes in handy for that. Already both the G's discuss Peppa Pig, Olivia, Umizoomi, hmm!! Fights, tantrums, are staged when TV is shut. What will I do now? is a question I am supposed to answer every 10 mins or so whenever an activity is concluded.
Make-believe play, spontaneous games do happen but few and far between. It is fun seeing the kids indulge in them because it gives me insight into their world and thoughts. Painting, drawing, lego, reluctant reading and writing too happen when I give her a push. Then there are her unending questions for me. I delight in the way she figures out things, digests information, makes connections. On the way to school we look out for snails, discuss bees and mosquitoes, why they eat what they eat, the different shades of green, I am given candid feedback on my parenting :). LOL, mothers have surprise review sessions and KPI's too!!! What I struggle to answer, I am told to look up on the internet!
When the TV is off limits, she makes a beeline to the computer. OK, she is allowed to work on starfall.com for a while (another liberty granted too soon). Now with some preliminary reading and writing skills can figure out how to watch dora on youtube, maybe the K3 songs and where that might lead to is not something I am comfortable with.
And yesterday I was given this. The schedule to be followed after school. Mama, how many times to tell you that we must do this when I come back. She also explained it to me in case I did not get it D:! It's now stuck it on the fridge. Way to go, big G!! And whatever next??
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LOLOL..how old is big G?? It is definitely the era of difficult parenting. Am sure the kids must think the mothers are monsters too..
ReplyDeletetoo much for them to assimilate and too many questions for us to answer..
And yes, am the bad cop too :-(
She is 5 and a half, Uma! In my case, when I've scolded one of the kids, the other hugs and consoles her and tells her we'll not talk to mummy ok, she's not good:)!!
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