Somewhere, somethings, sometimes........

Some stories don't have a beginning, or a theme, the same protagonists or a conclusive end. They are in a constant state of flux. My story is like that. Have been trying to post for a while now, unsuccessfully that is. Getting waylaid by something or the other. I stop by to read the posts on my reader and  log out, unable to break fr-ee from my blogger's block. Sometimes just too lazy to focus.

Went on a shopping trip again (why do I do this to myself ??). After roaming the better part of the day in the kids aisles of a department store, making my few purchases just before collapsing with sheer exhaustion, I called it a day. The problem is, and I will defend to death any accusations about me being an undecided shopper, retail therapy is not for me. There are the many variables - colours (for Big G - pink and close variants only), then summer clothes on sale in a country which has like 2 months of reluctant summer, then price and designs, not to forget  space in the cupboard. And what I like, though I refuse to acknowledge the like before checking the price label, invariably is highly priced. And  what is reasonable, sorry too pedestrian for my taste! So shopping for me is walking in a minefield. Or wait a minute, I am reluctant to take decisions, my 2 cents of pyscho-analysis!

Came back home rather sheepishly explaining to husband about my minimal shopping. His shake of head - I will not forget. That said it all. He should've been happy I saved him money. He made me a cup of tea. We do need to buy jeans for the kids and one suggestion is to do some online shopping.  After last week, it can wait.

And what happens when you have people over and you make 2 or 3 things. One item is a hit, they attack it with gusto, the second one - yes a second helping is taken. And the third is kind of ignored. So I have been eating curd rice for lunch and dinner over past 2 days. Not my favorite, after this, absolutely not.

July is stretching for me - all of 31 days. Days are passing  so slow. I have never before checked the calendar or the date so many times in the day. Wait and watch mode! For what, a change of a sort, positive change, of course, but how will this help? Isn't it better to put my head down and do what I am supposed to do? That I do, but the anxiety is difficult to contain. And  affects my ability to focus. This is where faith should step in. But it's not so easy for me.

And I am learning to say no! A friend called up yesterday, she wanted to leave her son at my place for a bit whilst she did some grocery shopping. I often do mine with both of mine tagging along!! I was in no mood to entertain a kid at home. And it's been done before, I didn't want to establish patterns here. I suggested we meet at the park, not a no, but close. And that was not life ignore.

And in the midst of all the weird and wondrous moments in life, I draw a lot of strength from my children - in their innocence, in their play and their contentment. Touchwood!

Edited to add - I see a new disclosure 'ads not by this site' on my blog and others. Today I saw some word highlighted in my post (not by me) and when you click on the word it takes you to some random unsavoury ad. Have you experienced this too? I just broke the word free to fr-ee. Any suggestions how to avoid this?