This summer I've learnt.....
(pardon me, I am back to my summer theme P:), that life is never ending play of contradictions! A long and slow summer, sometimes interspersed with cloudy skies and rains. A summer I will not forget for a number of reasons, no, I don't think I will be writing all of it here.
So that's the first thing I'm learning - am not able to write everything on my blog. I do share a lot of stuff that a mommy blog would have but re the blogger, well, uh, never mind. Me time is at an all-time premium too.
I need to control my temper, bite my tongue and do it. I end up apologizing to my kids after they are asleep. We have unstructured days - totally. Core activities include going to the park and practicing cycling for big G. TV can get randomly switched on and off when strictly needed. At all other times, role-play and creative play is resorted to. Everything else can wait.
Betrayal - Need not be something very big or drastic. It can be the small off-handed manner in which a new friend twists your confidence and throws it back into your face. Ouch! It leads to some introspection. And depending on your state of mind you feel proud that you are not an insensitive b**tch as the other person or kick yourself for being vulnerable. It can be the surprise and shock when you overhear your child telling her friend in the park that her mother is fat!! (Ik heb en dikke mama!)
Exercise - is much needed especially after overhearing the above remark and also taking a look at your backside when squatting. And after you've sweated yourself out, you do tend to think twice before popping random food unthinkingly in your mouth.
Trying to clean my home with kids around is a bit like practicing transposition. I am predictably cleaning all over the place all the time. And the spiders seem to be much aware of this now forgotten maths concept.
Oh and my cupboard is sulking as it has still not received my long-due attention and rebels by pushing stuff back at me!!!
That the girls love and prefer their father to me. Faffy as lil G calls him. Mama is on stand-by.
At a time when I am not feeling particularly social, I tend to have a very full social calendar. Hubby's old college mate, my mil, my friend all arriving - starting this weekend. Not only that, I am meeting people at the park who want to be friends and it seems rude not wanting to exchange numbers.............. Where was this abundance when I really needed some.
And that cliches do make sense at times -
Short-cuts take you on longer retours. When you are disinterested and detached, those that are observant do notice. You are never too good for the job. Nor are you indispensable. One can make the same mistake twice and even thrice. Truth is bitter, acceptance is the first step. Argue for your limitations and sure enough they are yours. Faith can move mountains...........Me, every night I turn over all my worries to God. He is going to be up all night anyways.
So that's the first thing I'm learning - am not able to write everything on my blog. I do share a lot of stuff that a mommy blog would have but re the blogger, well, uh, never mind. Me time is at an all-time premium too.
I need to control my temper, bite my tongue and do it. I end up apologizing to my kids after they are asleep. We have unstructured days - totally. Core activities include going to the park and practicing cycling for big G. TV can get randomly switched on and off when strictly needed. At all other times, role-play and creative play is resorted to. Everything else can wait.
Betrayal - Need not be something very big or drastic. It can be the small off-handed manner in which a new friend twists your confidence and throws it back into your face. Ouch! It leads to some introspection. And depending on your state of mind you feel proud that you are not an insensitive b**tch as the other person or kick yourself for being vulnerable. It can be the surprise and shock when you overhear your child telling her friend in the park that her mother is fat!! (Ik heb en dikke mama!)
Exercise - is much needed especially after overhearing the above remark and also taking a look at your backside when squatting. And after you've sweated yourself out, you do tend to think twice before popping random food unthinkingly in your mouth.
Trying to clean my home with kids around is a bit like practicing transposition. I am predictably cleaning all over the place all the time. And the spiders seem to be much aware of this now forgotten maths concept.
Oh and my cupboard is sulking as it has still not received my long-due attention and rebels by pushing stuff back at me!!!
That the girls love and prefer their father to me. Faffy as lil G calls him. Mama is on stand-by.
At a time when I am not feeling particularly social, I tend to have a very full social calendar. Hubby's old college mate, my mil, my friend all arriving - starting this weekend. Not only that, I am meeting people at the park who want to be friends and it seems rude not wanting to exchange numbers.............. Where was this abundance when I really needed some.
And that cliches do make sense at times -
Short-cuts take you on longer retours. When you are disinterested and detached, those that are observant do notice. You are never too good for the job. Nor are you indispensable. One can make the same mistake twice and even thrice. Truth is bitter, acceptance is the first step. Argue for your limitations and sure enough they are yours. Faith can move mountains...........Me, every night I turn over all my worries to God. He is going to be up all night anyways.
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Interesting post :)
ReplyDeleteControlling my temper is something I have learnt to do - my advise to you: don't eat up your anger because that actually gets to you in the long run...Channelize it in other directions...Anger by itself is not a negative emotion - it is what we end up doing when we are angry that causes a lot of pain...
And I know how it feels when you are in no mood to socialize but have a diary filled with social appointments - not a nice feeling at all that is!
Hmm Divya, you are right, when one is angry one acts irrationally and impulsively and more damage is done. Physical activity, exercise only things I can think of to burn it out.
DeleteChattywren in a contemplative mood is it :)
ReplyDeletekids compare notes about their moms' weight! Now, I should keep this in mind :)
//'When you are disinterested and detached, those that are observant do notice'//- how true!
Hope you have a nice time with lots of company at home and do keep updating when you find time.
Thanks Nithvin, I am going to have a full house soon and hoping it goes well!
DeleteI turn over all my worries to God. he's going to be up all night anyways....
ReplyDeleteloved this :-)
Having a full social calender when you are not up to it seems very similar to that Murphy's law..I do face these too..
lol@ the kids' comment..kids can seem darn rude actually, sometimes, no?
I feels like biting my tongue too many times..unfortunately, it always a little late..it would have wagged a lot by then ;-)
Hugs, Vibha!
Thanks Uma! just feeling a bit lost! Yes Uma, kids can be seemingly rude but in this case my daughter was painfully honest :-) And at least that makes me do something for myself :-)
Deleterelate to many of these! lol at your kid's remark at the park...children are so innocent and non-subtle, eh?! Hope things turn around for you after your visitors arrive!
ReplyDeleteYes children - full of contradictions! Make life full of OMG! moments. Thanks, I'm hoping for lot of sunshine after my visitors arrive. One of them is my friend from college, I am really waiting for her to get here:-)
Deletelife certainly does have twists...like our moods I guess. i remember seeing a photo of me that shocked me into losing 10 lbs!
ReplyDeletethat is strange how people come into your life when not really pursued and when we seem to be looking for someone, there is no one around....yep. I hear you.
I am also your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.
have fun!
Welcome here Momto8 :-) Perhaps I ought to do that too;-) Inspiration from all quarters.
DeleteAgree with you and I think it happens not only with people, but other things in life too.
Thanks for following me, will hop over to your blog as soon as I can!
Loved the post chattywren.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I would say is covering your anger would lead to more frustration. Learn to control it and get over it. Not easy I know but you have got to give it a try.
Controlling anger and getting over it, Jas. I am confused now. Agree with you though anger control or management in not easy:-)
DeleteSo many thoughts....yes, it happens to all of us more often that not.
ReplyDeleteMummy being fat - I hear is all the time, it is the sad, painful truth, though :-(
Making new friends- As I grow old, I have realized that I'd rather be alone than put up with nonsense :-)
Thanks for visiting my blog, do come back!
I read somewhere - I’ve built a wall around me, never letting anybody inside and trying not to venture outside myself” ~ Kafka on the Shore. Sometimes, not always though, I feel like this.Thanks for visiting, Bindu!
DeleteI can understand the anger, i get it often with only one kid and you have 2 kids and bevy of expected guests...i've realized that when i don't get enough sleep and hungry for a long time, i tend to get cranky about small things (yeah i am much like a toddler ;) ), so i try to eat at regular intervals (though my sleep is something controlled by Zini)
ReplyDeleteHugs to you...Hope your mood lifts up with your friend's visit :)
Hey nice to see you back ZM!! how have you been? Same here, I too can't control my emotions when hungry and can get very cranky:) Sometimes I eat before my kids o:O, to be more tolerant. Looking forward to all my visitors actually:)
Delete