Rants of a hostess, that's all

That's all is something lil G uses in lieu of a full stop, at the end of every sentence rather than at the end of what she wants to say. Mama, I say to you, give me ono one biscuit, that's all. And no more haldi milk every day, every day, that's all. And I want bubbles in my bath, that's all......on and on.....only it does not stop, that's all..

Just wrote a post and saved it in my drafts..... Am not too sure if I ought to post it. It brings out some not-too-good things about me and some other people. I mean not evil bad things, or criminal, murderous, suicidal but more like ego and relating and irreverence, pettiness. So trying to lighten the tone.

Ok, so this outburst has been triggered by the mil's visit-to-be in August. The mil and me go back about 10 years. The first time I met her was in her own house, she was sitting on the sofa, keenly enjoying me being grilled by the hubby's Aunt and Uncle over how committed I was  re our relationship. Really, that was my worst job interview ever!! Only thing in common is we both love the same man, so we agree to disagree.....Out of all the roles I have had to do, that of the d-i-l has been the toughest so far. I did not know getting to know/like another family can be difficult. Acceptance is so tenuous. I am forever the outsider, looking in. It could be because I don't go out to charm people, or sweet-talk them. Why would I do that? Isn't respect and cordiality a two-way street?

Should I respect you because you deserve to or just because you are senior to me? And oh! How do I win your acceptance, just by spending on you? Buying you gifts you don't really need or pretty things you will keep in your cupboard or souvenirs you really have no place for. Shared moments, shared laughs, doing things together, cooking together, other random and crazy things over the years don't they add up to something at all.

Money is such a turn-off in some relationships. I think we were really fine till we moved abroad. But there are pros and cons to everything. Just because we stay abroad we don't necessarily have a lot of money. We are a one-income family and I, specifically, have cut out all excesses from my life. No movies, necessity shopping, occasional eating out, no beauty saloons, no purchasing books.........Well, except for the books part, the rest was not difficult to give up at all. No weekends in Paris, or diamond shopping in Antwerp. Hell, I don't even employ a cleaner for the house, do everything from the windows to the floors to my upper lip. If that makes me frugal, yes, I am proud to be so, and I don't need to defend myself about it.

I can't understand why people comment so and so has a tight fist. And that I did not want my father to spend (loads of) money on my marriage has been my introduction to many a one. So what? I never question other people's decision to spend and certainly don't expect anyone to spend on me just like that. As youngsters we girls always split to the last penny when we went out. When I was dating my husband, I insisted on splitting or paying alternately as I don't think it is very fair on the guy to spend always. When we go to India, we are paying for all outings, eating out etc etc and that you, in return don't stock a single juice for my kids, that says a lot.

That said, when we have people over or even visitors we don't scrounge or anything but please allow us to decide the breadth and depth of our hospitality. Don't demand, insist and distress. Franfurt, Brussels, Paris, Amsterdam, London, saaku! Ashtena! 


Food is perhaps one of  the most expressive ways of showing how important your guests are and I have never faulted on that. Visits and excursions too are done as per budget and convenience. We have just been hit with a 2000 euro bill for heating for the last 2 years, sometimes these sudden expenses do a show-spoiler to our plans. But forewarned is forearmed. So....please do not crib to all and sundry burning phone wires from US to India that your son does nothing for you......It puts you more in a poor light.

And do remember you have 2 granddaughters now, who would enjoy your company. So be a Ajji first and tourist Ajji later!! For the sake of my children, I will make friends with a fire breathing dragon, so I will try this time yet again. Do meet me half way!! And ravae undaes are not considered gifts enough in this house, just as chocolates are not for you!

Notes to myself: Take a deep breath, yet again, toss your head back, flex your shoulders, move, move, move! Don't give in to this thought process, everybody need not be your friend. Perform your duty, be fair, fight preconceived notions. Think before you speak! Easier said than done!! That's all!