(Un)helpful summons!

In the wren's nest the quickest way of getting something done is usually any of the following -

1. Minusing treats one by one  (no story at bedtime/ no TV/ not buying some promised thing/ no chocolates, etc) OR
2. Summoning a random person bidding (scaring) the kids do what mama says. Not the best way of getting things done but works, more often than not.

Thought of writing this post after reading the post 'Maago' at RM's blog. Till Big G was a year old, I had never had to scare her to do anything. It was on our first trip to India, she would just not go to my father if he wore a helmet. And that is how, 'Helmet' was born. And was frequently summoned when she refused to eat food. But smartie that she is, she caught on to the fact that 'Helmet' lives in India, and not here in Belgium.

So back here, when the terrible two's and tantrum three's began, I had to conjure up another character fast.  MIL has mentioned someone called 'Goghiya' to scare kids with, but I could not relate to that. So 'Bookaya' was created. In my imagination, it was a person with the face of a book, and he would run to you flapping the pages loudly and vigorously. Dekho, Bookaya aa jayega. I don't know if it is more scary than annoying a concept but it worked. That's another matter that he is now fondly referred to as Bookie by lil G, who confidently calls for Bookie.


Another short lived character has been Black Man, I seem to have forgotten his origin but we don't use him anymore. Rather, his existence affects no one. During bedtimes to make them sleep quickly, Wee Villie Winkie sung in an alarming tone always works. Yes, I am a bad and tired mom too by bedtime.

Now lil G is a brave soul. When big sis wants to go to the toilet, it is she who will escort her right to the door, put the light on, step out to give her required privacy and wait till she is done, accompany her to the bathroom to wash hands and you get the drift. So we needed something different for her. And for some reason 'Baghdo Bawo' does the trick. Eat your food or Baghdo Bawo will come, and look out of the balcony with the appropriate amount of suspense and wide eyes and food disappears. Thank God, food time is the only time when I have to resort to such stuff.

This short term respite has resulted in some not very nice trade offs. Big G is a very sensitive and imaginative child and in class and through all the fairy tales knows about witches (hexes) and is now just plain scared of being alone. So much so that lil G has to accompany her to room when the light is off. In spite of telling her and reasoning with her saying all this exists only in imagination, there are no real-life witches etc.  I wish I could undo it all. I want my child to be confident and deal with things rationally and I seem to have scared her with some of my own fictional creations.

Way forward - Not using these characters at all. Telling her that fairies, witches, gins and pixies, spooks, all exist in imagination. Give her time to work these out for herself. Hoping that helps.