Festivals, traditions and a mixed family

Happy Ugadi to you all and also a happy Gudi Padwa! Ugadi means beginning of a new year - leaving all your past troubles behind and looking forward to a new beginning. It also indicates the onset of the spring. My husband's aunt had told me last year that they exchange neem and jaggery on that day  (bevu-bella) to symbolise that one accepts good and bad in life with equanimity. Since I have become  a bit more cognizant of rituals and why's and wherefores I try to do what I can so my children also know a bit about their heritage. I am making badam kheer today for the prasad.

My husband and me are from different states, never lived in our respective states. From Gujarat to Karnataka and a few other states thrown in, we have had a pretty mixed upbringing. Living on our own, away from families, in another city post marriage, festivals and traditions (especially each other's) did not feature a whole lot. The husband hardly knows enough himself to educate me and I do whatever I can the way I have seen my mother do and I don't do it all either :). So we always used to celebrate Navratri and Diwali with a bang. He would wish me on Gujarati New Year (bestu varash) if I reminded him and vice versa for Ugadi (I did not need reminders). We did a Ganpati homa once a year and that was about it. And enjoyed all the other community festivals like Holi, Ganpati, Janmashtmi, etc.

I don't know why it has been so. Maybe work is one reason and also lack of guidance for me, as a daughter-in-law to the ways of the family I am marrying into. I think its very important. The hubby says the MIL leaves it on me, not knowing if I would like to be burdened with rituals etc, but inspite of asking a couple of times, she has not been forthcoming. Shrug! Could be because after all these years I have not mastered Kannada. Or maybe, she is not the teaching types. I still remain in the outer circle. We, of course, wish each other and all that, but finer points, must-dos remain unexplained.

For instance, the first time I came to know Ganpati and Gowri Habba was celebrated at the in-laws was when I went there for Big G's seemantha and I was really surprised. Last year was the first time I did the Managala Gowri vrata (believe me, I did not know such a thing existed) till the MIL organised it for the 2nd daughter-in-law. And I was given some basic instructions on Skype. I still don't know quite how to react to it. I just put it down to one of those things which get lost in translation, and the fact there are some very different ways of doing things in our respectable families and communities so its best one does what one knows.

But I also think that even if I am considered too old to learn, this should not be the case for my daughters and there should be something they learn from their grandmother regarding rituals and traditions. My grandmother read the Ramayana and Mahabharata to me. Of course, does not have to be this way for them too. Till then, they will have to learn in a rather mixed and minimalistic fashion from me.