This friendship business...Blogging Marathon 2014 Post 20

How do you see and accept people? Just as they are or do you take them apart to bits and pieces, analyse remarks, gestures and actions, and form some kind of a perception map and  interact based on that. The map is dynamic and changes with every interaction.......it alters to include details of co-ordinates, behaviour lassitude, affection longitudes, friction gradients, topography is dotted with laughs, smiles, celebrations, jokes, a disagreement or a petty grudge - the works of relating. For me, the more I know people, it seems the less I know of them.

I am always curious how people perceive others. For me, family is family, the family I was born into and the family I created.  You can't choose a lot of them. Maybe your partner, yes, but then extended family, no way. In any family there are some quirks which you kind of accept as normal, your normal. Relatives and extended family too - an aunt with an opinion, a disapproving uncle, an inquisitive cousin, some show of favoritism...........well, you just got to live with it. These are personality traits. Sometimes, there is something more deep! Unless things are affecting you in a major way, grin and bear, keep interactions cordial, fulfill all the required social obligations and just try not to get too involved. Easier said than done!!

About friends, here I believe that there is certain divine intervention! Friendships are made in heaven! And friends are as they are, how often do we attempt to change our friends. Friends come in so many people, appear at many different cross-roads in life! Friends are! You talk your heart out to them and do the same for them too. All experiences in life seem suddenly so much enhanced with friends. My school days, college days, hostel life, PG days, everything that makes for the best memories is thanks to my friends. In fact, so smitten was I by this concept that I attempted to make friends at my workplace too.

 We used to laugh and cry together, back-slap and tease, drop into each others homes and lives, cook together, watch plays, movies, do crazy crazy stuff - looking back at times spent together gives you so much joy and nostalgia.

Why then, do things go off sometimes, like a product past its expiry date? Suddenly a friend ignores my b'day, does not pick up my call, does not reply to my mail? She is busy with other concerns! Let go and move on, or shouldn't I at least attempt to find out why? I think back to all the times when i have ignored friendship gestures - because I knew I did not have the time to invest in a new relationship, or was simply very insensitive and full of myself. Rebuffs of any kind are always hurtful, whether they come with explanations or otherwise. So it is not easy to be on the receiving end. 

With social media, the problem sort of compounds itself. There is the FB. Then there are groups within that. There is blogging and related activities like Blogathon. And there are real people behind these interfaces. And the dilemma persists - is he/she like their blog in real life, not necessarily, rather, can't say. X or Y sounds interesting, should I say hello? Add them on FB, maybe? Then go back to the same cycle of a passive friend list? There are time and etiquette issues too, sometimes you sense a rebuff, maybe it was never intended! What did they judge you by, the missing apostrophe? You are sensitive, you cringe with embarrassment and you type out a blog post, which does not make a lot of sense, and started off as a draft.

I am not very hung up re friends now, at this stage of life. Sure it's nice to talk to people you can connect with but those are admittedly a few. For a lot of others the efforts far outweigh the rewards, at times. I am comfortable with acquaintances, though I know (grin, grin) that a friend/acquaintance took umbrage at this. But, as my little one explains to me at times, so it is.